Sincerest apologies to the family at the table I joined tonight for dinner for Family Night at Lilli's school. It may have come across that maybe I had something in my eye, or maybe that I was emotionally unstable, could have been hormones or maybe just the fact that my better half is out of town again but truthfully tonight ingrained an image in my head that will forever remain in my heart. 

When we arrived at family night at her school tonight and Lill had the opportunity to dance with her friends. She asked that I join her three times. I mentioned that after I ate dinner we would dance. She hesitated and gently tugged until slowly, slowly she let go of my fingers and walked nervously towards her friends. I watched in awe as it seemed that the room slowed down and the only child I could see for that minute was her. Tears streamed down my face as she walked away towards her friends, away from me, away from her comfort zone and began dancing... actual dancing with her four year-old self. 

I'm sure it doesn't sound like a pivotal point for any parent. And I think if I was one of those couples at the table, I may have just gotten up and "checked out the bookfair." You have to understand why this is such an emotional moment. You see, Lilli has always had extremely anxiety with any 'out of her norm' circumstances and particularly anxiety with strangers. As an infant, she would panic when we went grocery shopping when people would smile or talk to her. I would actually ask that people not talk to her because it would upset her so much. She has huge meltdowns when Josh picks her up from school still and when we are at home she often calls out my name just to determine my proximity. When she was younger she would actually cry when the doorbell rang. She is more than just a mama's girl. 

Tonight I cried for her. I cried for me. I cried for every time I felt that I couldn't do something because my worries got in the way. I cried because I see that this apple doesn't fall far. I cried because she reminded me in that very moment as I watched her blond pony tail bounce further away that all those self doubts I've had about who I am or where my purpose lies that the four year-old mini me knows that it's there's an opportunity worth taking.

I'm in awe of her own growth and can attribute so much of it to her teachers and to the incredible environment they've provided. Their love for my both of my children has helped both share empathy with others and find love in themselves. I'm really not sure that as a parent I could ever really want anything more for my kids. There is not a single day that goes by that I don't value the rich environment they've provided and the path that they've laid for my children's confidence.

Tonight left me crying and emotional, not because "she's growing up" or because "she's so big" but because as a human being that self-talk that she exhibited tonight has really resonated with me lately. Maybe those positive affirmations do work. It's possible that those inner instincts that you have, those deep within your heart and belly, really could guide you. Sometimes we really need to listen to our own heart and just get up and dance.